help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
