Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Randomize
