"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
