Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
