I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
