so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
