I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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