32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
