Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
