Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
