Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Of course I have a pirate flag
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
