Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
