She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
