Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
