i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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