Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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