Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
