Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
