you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
