I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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