Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The power of my boobs compel you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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