so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
