he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
