is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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