i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
