# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
