his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
