dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
