When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
