If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
