Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
