Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
