gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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