i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
