After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
