I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
