After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
