had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
