Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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