did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
