he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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