Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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