cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
