when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just had sex bonerless
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
