I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need a beard to bite.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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