he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
this hospital has no fireball
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
