I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
