Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
