the day after is always just damage control
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
