I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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