Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
