hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My bed smells like the plague
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
