Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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