i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
