I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
