it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
