Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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