I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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